Try to keep an open mind, will you? I’m going to tell you some things about myself that will make me sound like even more of a freak than you may already think I am.
From the time I was a child, I remember having strange abilities. When I saw the movie “The 6th Sense” it didn’t seem all that strange, or “out there” to me. No, I don’t see dead people wandering around and I’m also not up on the lingo yet, but the way that I explain it is that I can “feel” dead people…not in a groping, touchy-feely kind of way, either.
I get emotions. I have the ability to walk into a room/building/whatever and ‘sense’ active emotions in there. I use this for reading live people as well. I think that anybody can do this part, but to summarize it for live people, I can sense immediately what type of mood someone is in and how to act/react around them. Again, I don’t think this is particularly strange or exceptional.
The first, unmistakable realization I had of my abilities was when I was probably about 10 years old. My family was moving my aunt into a house with a new roommate. I knew nothing of this house at the time, but have since done historical photo searches on my town and found out that it was around back in the 1940’s…very old for my neck of the woods. At right is one of the photos I found of the house presumably shortly after it had been built. Just so you know, the house has since been torn down and because the property was so large; two houses now sit on the lot.
When I stepped into her house, I felt an overpowering sense of negativity. Nobody else was in the house at the time. The negativity felt like it was physically weighing on my brain. If I had to verbalize what I was feeling, it would be “GET OUT!” said as emphatically and loudly as you can imagine. The only thing I was able to do to help with the move was to bring boxes into the kitchen and leave them there. I never actually made it into the living room area of the house. In the end, my aunt and her roommate were forced out of the house under mysterious circumstances and I don’t think anybody ever lived there again.
I’ve had a bunch more experiences in my life that haven’t always been negative emotions, though the negative are the most pronounced. That’s not what I’m going to get into here, though.
For a long long time, I’ve known (another one of my truths) that I have abilities beyond what most people consider normal. I’ve done some reading and some basic trial stuff to develop it, but ultimately get the impression I’m not yet ready and back off. This weekend I had opportunity to continue my reading into the topic as well as had an uplifting conversation with a friend about their experiences and have decided to move forward with my development again. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that next week I’ll have new and funky abilities. I may very well advance to a next step and feel that I am not prepared yet again and have to take more time to prepare.
I cannot explain what I do to prepare for this. I do what feels natural and read trusted authors on the topic trying to learn from their experiences and direction. It might interest you to know that I’ve had an unusually high amount of déjà vu experiences in my life. I’m not necessarily saying it’s connected to this, but it’s just another freaky bit of information about me for you to store away somewhere for future blackmailing.
Why would I want to do this? Firstly and foremost, because as I said, I’ve felt my entire life that it’s a natural ability for me. I don’t think that I’m trying to learn to be a space engineer or something that is outside of my natural abilities. Secondly, whenever I’ve dealt with people who have had losses in their lives – death, specifically, I’ve been able to feel their pain…it’s been enormously emotionally painful. Thankfully, not many people that are close to me have lost their loved ones. I want to be able to help grieving people deal with their loss and possibility bridge a gap in beliefs. I’m not suggesting that I would tell them I could speak to their deceased friend/relative…I’m really not sure what I would do. I simply think that I will be able to help in some way.
I don’t expect you to believe anything that I’ve said here. Frankly, if someone I didn’t know told me something like this I may question their sanity. If you know me, though, and I know you, I welcome your thoughts on the topic. I’m not sure where this adventure is going to take me, but I look forward to it with an open mind.